First Date Rules

So, I have a date Sunday. My first first date in 10+ years. I can not remember what you are supposed to do and say on a first date. The last first date I went on was with the ex. After a quiet meal, where only me and the other couple talked, he took me back home. In the car parked in front of my house is where he decided to open up. He told me his life story, what went wrong with his previous relationship, and what he wanted for the future. And then proceeded to grope me.

Is this the way it still works?

I don't know if I have the stamina for another this-is-what-I-want-out-of-life conversation. Is it not enough to just go out and with smile say, "How you doing?" Do I really have to decide the direction of a brand new relationship and still impress the person all at one time? If this is what is expected of me, I may have to remain single forever. However, I wouldn't mind some groping.....

I am a socially awkward person to begin with. I tend to stick my big toe in my mouth at the worst possible times. I laugh too loud, and I have dark, almost morbid sence of humor. It takes a special person to accept me at face value and to enjoy my company. I am not good at first impressions either. I tend to get extremely shy and come off as snobbish. I am not a snob, but I guess I can play a good one on tv.

This makes it quite surprising to me when I am asked out. My first thought is always: "What's wrong with him? Why me?" Followed by, "He must be completely nuts to want to go out with me. I bet he plays in his poop or something like that." Which, I am sure, this guy does not play in his poop.

About the guy...he is quite nice and normal. He has a daughter. He is employed and well spoken. And as far as I can tell, his eyes tend to stay above my neck line when we speak. All a big plus. I have only had limited conversations with him. Standing in the cafteria line as we wait for whatever hellish concotion the cooks have dug up for us, we always manage to make small talk. We will bump into each other at the vending machine where he will make a comment about the day's snack selection, as I make a complete ass out of myself. But, he seems to find me amusing. He always laughs at me. Never with me though.....

So, what do I talk about on this first first date in 10+ years? Do I have to answer all his questions about me? Can I keep the conversation to a light hearted topic like my favorite color, movie, etc? Do I really have to divulge the fact that I have no idea what I want in a relationship or wether or not I even want one? Must I speak about the ex and all that went wrong there? And if he decides to open up...do I have to listen?

The date is Sunday after church. The plan is to meet in town at a public location. Now, I must go and polish off that big toe of mine. I am sure it will be used.....