Thursday, August 4, 2011

Dating Exhaustion: The Googley-Eyed Guy

Please gather around and lend me a shoulder to rest my weary head. I am tired and I do not know how much longer I can walk this road of singledom. You see, I have been out on a couple of dates and I am exhausted. I am debilitated, weakened, and plain out pooped from my foray into the dating realm. What I thought I wanted has finally arrived.

So, now what?

I met a guy a couple of weeks ago. I did not meet him on an online dating website; nor did I pick him out of a police lineup. There was no casually pumping into each other in the grocery store, or waiting patiently for him to move out of the way so I could grab the newest Stephen King book at the bookstore. I met him the old fashioned way. The way my mom met my dad. The way millions of men have been meeting millions of women for centuries.

I met him in a bar.

I first noticed him not noticing me on a Saturday night. I looked into his beautiful blue eyes and I smiled the best smile I could muster. He did a polite head nod and turned back to his companion. Undaunted, I spent the rest of the evening trying my best to give him the kind of googly eyes that I thought would at least land me a "hello".  Still nothing.

So, I retreated back here to my home to lick my wounds and start looking for the cats that I'm hell bent on collecting.

The following weekend I went back out with my girlfriends. We sat at a restaurant on their patio. There, one of my fellow cohorts saw Mr. Googly-Eye walk by. She began having seizures.

"Look! Look! Wes! Oooh! Oooh! There he is. The googly guy!" She exclaimed.

I nodded and tried to look casual as he strolled by. I knew that I would eventually run into him in the bar.... (which I did.)

OK. So, let's cut to the chase. I am too tired to even paint a clear picture of the whole night's events for you. So, I am going to sum up the bar scene. After trying my best to stare my intent and interest into the back of his head, one of my bff's took it upon herself to drag his amused behind over to our table. She introduced us.

I proceeded to make an ass out of myself. As usual.

"You know I was trying my hardest to give you googly-eyes last weekend?" I demanded. "You just walked right on by!"

My friends proceeded to fall apart. One crawled under the table. One walked away. And one just sat there with her mouth gaped open staring at me. I'm not sure if she's managed to close it yet.

But, he just smiled and sat down beside me. We proceeded to talk the rest of the night. As the bar closed and the drunks did the zombie walk back to their vehicles, he was kind enough to walk me to mine.

We stopped at the museum that's downtown. Beside the building is a beautiful tree. The branches are jetted out, stretching into the road. The leaves are full. This is a tree that begs to be climbed. It spoke to me as I stood beside the Googly-Eyed Guy. It said, "Come. Climb my branches. Sit in my trunk and feel the breeze."

So, I did.

With the help of my new found companion, I hiked up my already-short-to-there jean skirt and climbed the massive branches. He then followed suit. There, in the tree away from any one's view, we talked and laughed. That tree went from being beautiful to magnificent as it held the promise of something new.

Fast forward a couple of weeks later and that something new has turned into........crickets chirping.

Now to give him credit, he took me out on a couple of fabulous dates. He is great to talk to. Smile is as charismatic up front as it is across a bar. Clear eyes. Easy going manner. Shyness that is just this side of charming.

Hell, he even bought me a book. (Which I am reading and it's quite good.)

Granted, I DID throw him into the deep end. I brought him to dinner at a local restaurant to meet part of the tribe. The tribe (or my family) is very loud and sarcastic. We also have a brutal wit about us. We're not for everyone. After the tribal gathering, I took him to my bff's house to meet The Round Table. (A group of girls I hang out with.) Now there are seven of us in The Round Table. Seven of us with at least two kids each. Out of the seven, two have husbands. (which were there).


I believe I threw him into the deep end. But, my theory behind having him meet everyone at once is the same theory that people have used when they are trying to teach their children how to swim. Throw them in the deep end and they'll either paddle their way to safety or drown trying.

I guess he began to drown.

So, now I'm exhausted from beginning the whole process of getting-to-know-you-and-letting-you-see-my-crazy. I'm wiped out from worrying about what I am going to wear and how I am going to sit. I'm plumb tuckered out from forcing the eye contact and trying to keep my A.D.D laidened squirrel sequestered.

I'm not sure if I want to go out and meet someone knew and do a whole two weeks worth of the getting-to-know-you-and-you-see-my-crazy only for it to go ka-plooey once again. I mean, I can only worry about such stuff as hair and clothes and whether or not he's going to kiss me or do I reach in and kiss him first or is he bored and wants to drop me off at my car or is the smile genuine before I go completely bonkers. I don't like it. I can't do it. I give up.

Besides, my squirrel is ready to run free.

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